THE FANTASTIC FLOATING KID OF ROMILEY
(ACTUAL TRANSCRIPT OF DEBRIEFING SESSION)
PROZAC: I'm certain that this is an alien/human hybrid, Sertraline. You can't seriously suggest that this is a common occurrence?
SERTRALINE: You're right, Prozac, it is unusual. Not because it's inexplicable but because it's one of the few recorded instances of a phenomenon known as The Galilee Effect. In 1942 in Vichy, a spa town which was the seat of the Collaborationist French Government during the Nazi occupation the same effect was witnessed by a large group of people including a number of high ranking SS officers who immediately alerted Nazi High Command in Berlin.
They made investigation of the phenomenon a high priority and despatched a group of high ranking scientists who immediately sealed off the spa bath where the incident had taken place. After extensive examinations of the individual concerned and of the spa itself they concluded that the answer was chemical in nature. They found that many of the same chemicals were present in the spa water and in the waters of the sea of Galilee. When there was a large amount of human activity in the water the co-mingling of the chemicals with those common in the human body produced a hitherto unknown compound in gaseous form. This invisible gas, which lay just above the surface of the water, was incredibly dense and was only nominally a gas. It was, if you will, an insubstantial solid which allowed a human being to walk across its surface giving the appearance of floating slightly above the surface of the water.
PROZAC: But what about the possibility of an alien/human hybrid, genetically mutated to float in the atmosphere and dispense with the need for flying saucers. The aliens may have market forces just as we do, Sertraline. They may not be as dissimilar as the panic-mongers would have us believe. You must admit, your theory does seem hard to swallow.
SERTRALINE: Well, fragments of authentication, though sketchy and lacking in bio-chemical analyses, have been found in archives of Nazi High Command, hidden in previously unknown bunkers. Apparently, at the time, the Nazi scientists tried unsuccessfully for a number of years to artificially recreate the Galilee Effect with the intention of enabling Hitler's forces to invade Britain by simply walking across the English Channel. Thankfully they failed and democracy was restored in Europe.
GENERAL MALAISE: On the other hand it could simply be a photograph of a boy jumping into a swimming pool taken at a very fast shutter speed.
PROZAC & SERTRALINE: (Long Pause......Coughing. Sounds of shoes scraping together.) Well, Sir, er, we have to admit - there is better light in your office! Shit, I think we've been had!
|X-PLAIN THE INCREDIBLE LEMON-SUCKING BOY OF BRINNINGTON||X-PLAIN THE LIGHT-HEADED PLONKER OF PORTWOOD||X-PLAIN THE SENSATIONAL HALF-BOY OF HEATON NORRIS|
|X-PLAIN THE LARGER THAN LIFE SPROG OF LYME HALL||X-PLAIN THE AMAZING X-RAY EYES MAN OF EDGELEY||X-PLAIN THE WITH-CHILD CHILD OF CHEADLE|
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