Glad you asked!
PALMER ON PROZAC needs no introduction. This isn't absolutely true, as if he didn't then you wouldn't be reading this!
What can be said about Palmer on Prozac that hasn't been said by social workers, probation staff and judges already? Plenty!
Not exactly shy and retiring, Palmer has never been one to hide his light under a bushel. Indeed, it would probably take a few dozen bushels - of Semtex - to keep Palmer quiet.
Palmer on Prozac is the author of the SITE FOR SORE EYES and a figment of some poor bastards imagination.
No one in their right mind could have conceived, naturally, of such devils spawn, so an experiment was conducted by Dr. Streuth Eggtimer, assisted by the SITE FOR SORE EYES very own Dr. Hildegard Liebenleder.
The procedure, known as IVF, (Insignificant Verminous Fucker ) has now become a household term - sometimes also known as Artificial Infestation.
Being plagued with personality and identity crises ever since he was a tadpole, it was little wonder that, from his early years, Palmer on Prozac was always a boy who stood out in class - usually in one corner wearing a pointy hat with the letter D on it. When other boys were mischievously pulling the legs off spiders and flies, Palmer on Prozac was busy patenting medical instruments to perform surgery without anaesthetic on them.
Life at school was not always so scare-free, however. When taken to the school psychiatrist to find out why he exhibited a form of syndrome that manifested itself as a deficit of attention, he was diagnosed as being A.D.S. - A Definite Sicko!
Many of his former classmates desperately wanted to say something on this Site about Palmer on Prozac, but the lawyers from the Witness Relocation Programme forbade it.
Early on in his teenage years, he tried his hand at most things - and was sometimes caught by his parents.
After attaining puberty (several times because he liked it), Palmer went out into the big wide world. He was, though, plagued by psychiatric problems - weirdos kept following him and shouting things!
His contributions to the world so far are manifold - some may remember him from his seminal work on lemonade-free alcohol. Not one to refuse a challenge, he developed an alternative drink to the alco-pop, Two Dogs, calling it, Three Sheets.
During a brush with being cared for in the community, he met SOMERS ON SERTRALINE. The rest, as they say, is history. (Who are they? Are they coming this way? Why are they talking about me in strange, ancient tongues? Your mother sucks eels in Jell!!!)
When not wandering around the SITE FOR SORE EYES, Palmer can be found practising for his fifteen minutes of fame.
© Palmer on Prozac. October, 2000.
SOMERS ON SERTRALINE is a man of many parts, few of them functioning correctly. He has led a long, tortured life haunted by the spectre of mental illness in its manifest forms throughout and has emerged from the long dark early evening of the soul bruised and battered but not defeated.
He was a founder member of the short-lived British Paranoia Society and chaired its only meeting in 1976, a summit famous for lasting six months because nobody wanted to be the first to leave in case the others began plotting against them.
It was shortly after this that he had his first brush with the law, a charge of drug abuse followed his being arrested for swearing at a bottle of paracetamol in Boots.
A succession of mental problems followed including a suspected bout of schizophrenia - though he is in two minds about whether this happened - sporadic episodes of agoraphobia - which struck, mysteriously, whenever the landlord of The Crown called "Time, gentlemen, please" - and a particularly debilitating bout of a rare behavioural disorder Manioklepta in which the sufferer walks backwards into shops and leaves things.
His second clash with the police occurred during the eighties when he was arrested in London for running along Whitehall bellowing, "Margaret Thatcher is the daughter of Satan." and charged with an offence under the Official Secrets Act.
After serving a lengthy prison sentence he was released under the Care in the Community initiative and is currently mentally well with the minor exception of a superiority complex, though why I should be telling you snivelling insignificant bastards all this is totally beyond me.
© Somers on Sertraline. October, 2000.