WARNING: Sex, Nudity, Erotic lingerie, Scantily-clad female forms, Unusual poses from unusual angles of even more unusual people, Rubber, PVC, Leather & Wet-look garments, Free contacts, Cling Film and Tapioca.

None of the aforementioned are contained in the following pages. So take your filthy hands off that mouse and do something constructive.

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Several of the Areas listed below have their own Contents List & Navigation Bars to guide you through them.

BIOGRAPHIES, LINKS & OTHER (need-to-know basis) STUFF Who are Palmer & Prozac? How do I contribute? Can I get my money back? Are there other sites like this or was I just unlucky? Point your mouse HERE to stop that bitter bile after-taste. UPDATES SINCE LAUNCH ON 10/10/00 For regular visitors and contributors, this is the quickest way to access new stuff. If you're new - just browse. And come back. HEADLINES TONIGHT What's breaking and making. Brought to you by our twenty-four hour news-team. If you need your finger on the pulse, this is the place for you.
SITE FOR SORE EYES NEWS-STAND Alternative, publications available from the PALMER & SOMERS team. You won't find these anywhere else, even on the top shelf! ADVERTISEMENTS AREA Take a leisurely stroll through this area and pick up a bargain. Whatever you want, even if you don't know it yet, it's probably here. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISMENTS  Need a job or partner? Looking for something unusual? Then this is the area for you. But hurry. Limited stock & opportunities.
PERSONAL ADS If you've got something to sell, barter or find, this is the Area to be. First come, first served - OR NEAREST OFFER! PROBLEMS AREA Nothing is too personal or shocking for Dr. Hildegard and aspiring gynaecologist Steve. HOROSCOPES AREA For all things organic, alternative and spiritual, visit the psychically cleansed area.
THE REVEREND RICHARD TALLYWHACKER'S GOD BOTHERER SLOT Our very own Man of God, but also very much a man of the people. Hear his thoughts on the world. And now, straight from a world tour, Pastor Biff W. Heckmondwyer also speaks to you, the lowly, unworthy masses. STAND-UP, RANTS, ANECDOTES, GENERAL COMEDY & RANCID RANTS AREA  Is something really hacking you off? Want to find a kindred spirit who hates everything you do? Do you want to spit venom at all the world's problems? Enjoy comedy? Want a laugh at someone else's expense? Welcome HOME! SPOOKY STUFF Our very own X-files area. We go undercover, without a thought for our own safety, to see if the truth really is out there.
RELAXATION TAPES To complement the mystic aura of the above area, we now have our own set of Relaxation Tapes. Specially formulated to combat the stresses and strains of day-to-day living, these tapes will help you to drift off into the sleep of the dead! CHRISTMAS TV LISTINGS There's a treat in store for all you couch potatoes as we reveal the alternative listing, available on the SITE FOR SORE EYES' own high-fibre optic cable. CHRISTMAS FAYRE Welcome to the BSE, er, BEST eats around. The SITE FOR SORE EYES is proud to announce a special menu, for the Festive Season, only. Your host: Mick Sturbs.
HOLIDAY SPECIAL OFFERS  Would you like to know EXACTLY what you're getting on your holiday without borrowing the Universal Translator from STAR TREK to examine the brochure? Cut through the crap here. CHRISTMAS TV LISTINGS 2 - THE SEQUEL!! Yet another dip into what's kept you stuck to the couch for the last year - apart from that old caramel you dropped last January! HANK CONAN - PRIVATE EYE.  New to the Site For Sore Eyes, gripping tales of our own Private Dick. Handsome, muscular, brave, debonair, suave, sophisticated. These are just a few of the words used to describe James Bond!
THE SITE FOR SORE EYES PICTURE GALLERY  If you've got a photograph with that witty caption, or if you have a photo that needs one, send it in and we'll display them here. Look now. IF YOU DARE! THE SITE FOR SORE EYES LETTER AREA  What the populace think about us, and what we think of them!! Letters received, and some of our replies to the more offensive e-mails we've received. Complete with addresses so you can offend them yourselves!! PEOPLE WHO... Prozac, and his beautiful assistant, Sertraline (!!!), get their very own section to sound off and generally bitch about life, the universe, everything, and people - their favourite pastime. (Includes rants from fans.)
THE TUPPENCE-HA'PENNY PUNCH AND JUDY SHOW
Sertraline kicks televisual ass in a new, regular, series. If you seethe at the moving lantern in the corner of the room, this is the place for you.
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COMING SOON, TO A BROWSER NEAR YOU.....

 DR. STREUTH EGGTIMER. The world-famous sexologist takes time out to visit the SITE FOR SORE EYES and answer the questions you were too embarrassed to talk about.    

AND MUCH MORE...

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