The Prozac and Sertraline

Holiday guide

At last, the mystery is solved. The person who stole the famous WWII Enigma machine is not a common criminal at all, he is simply a person who wanted to book a holiday for next summer and couldn't understand the holiday brochure.

Have you experienced this problem? Don't let it lead you into a life of crime, simply follow the PROZAC & SERTRALINETM guide to uncover the hidden meaning of all those hard to understand holiday brochure expression. Neatly arranged and easy to follow the guide helps you understand all those cryptic phrases and allows you to reach an informed decision about what you will be getting for your money in the comfort of your own home without the interfering attention of some hideously uniformed "travel consultant".

 

18 - 30 Holidays.
Contrary to the widely-held belief this does not refer to the age of the people who take this type of holiday but to their I.Q.

Young & Lively - You will be woken at 4 a.m every morning by the sound of someone vomiting onto your balcony from the apartment above.
Bed & Breakfast
Every morning you will be required to walk the half mile to the dining room so that you can start the day with a hearty repast of two stale croissants and a cup of instant coffee.
Value for money accommodation - So cheap and nasty that it makes Butlins look like Sandals.
Peaceful setting
A two day donkey ride from the beach.
Traditional Charm - No one speaks English.
Mediterranean-style cuisine
Your egg and chips will be cooked in olive oil.
Massive child reductions - A reduction of 1.25 on the adult price when all the supplements have been added in.
Accommodation -
Studio: Two camp beds in a space smaller than the interior of your garden shed.
One bedroomed apartment for four: One bedroomed apartment for two.
Family sized room: Yes, if the family is the Borrowers.
Sea View: Bring your own reflecting telescope.
All-inclusive holidays
All you can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner: The food is so awful that all you can eat is one mouthful.
Unlimited locally produced beer wines and spirits: The beer is like a gnat's pregnancy test; the wine would ensure that your car started in the depths of a Stavanger winter and the spirits are a source of supplementary lighting in your accommodation. What's more everything is so weak that you and alcoholic oblivion never have the pleasure of each other's company.
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