PALMER ON PROZAC rants about..........


I.D. HI!


Let's just wander in to David Blunkett's brave new world (I nearly said 'vision'!) and take a day in the life of your average, coping-with-New-Labour's-errant-ways-type individual - ME!

There I was, minding me own business on the Tube when all of a sudden a gang of ne'er-do-wells surrounds me.
Well, I reaches into me pocket, and they think I'm going for me wallet, see. When all of a sudden I flashes this card at 'em.
Cor, strike a light, they all start cringing and wailing, beggin' me to put it away and they'll be good from thereon in. Shrieking and gnashing their teeth, they was.
Well, I takes pity on 'em and puts the card away and they runs off straight to the nearest nick and throws themselves on the mercy of the Old Bill, don't they?

Then, you'll never believe it. I gets out of the station and some nasty IRA geezers have planted a bomb in this stolen car. And it has seconds before it goes off, don't it?
Well, I thinks quick, reaches for me card, whips it out, real smart like, and the bomb goes off just as I does. BUT - the explosion stops in its tracks - like one of these science fiction films it was - and I pick up the bomb and scoop up all the bits of explosion and carry them to where there are no people or property around. Then I retreats to a safe distance, don't I, and put the card back in my pocket.


Well, I can hear you ask. What magical kind of card is this? SAS? Her Majesty's Secret Service? CIA?

Hell, no!

It's the all-singing, all-dancing, magical-mystery-tour, soon-to-be-in-your-neck-of-the-woods UK ID CARD!!

"HOORAH," shout all the previously frail, downtrodden, crime-ridden citizens of the UK. "Now all our pensioners will have lots to eat, we'll never have to queue in the casualty department ever again, all our shops will be full of whatever we want when we want it and everyone will live happily ever after!"


What really happened was the muggers kicked the shit out of me, and probably a few other innocent bystanders for good measure, and the IRA bomb killed a few dozen people and wrecked a few hundred lives.

Can't David Blunkett see sense?
Oops! Didn't mean to be politically incorrect, but how incorrect can this stroker of Golden Labradors be?
Does he seriously believe what he's saying about ID cards?

Is there anyone out there - politician or human - who can seriously explain to me HOW identity cards can stop crime and make us all safer in our beds?
I'm not what you could call behind the door when it comes to grey matter, but I'm really at a loss to understand what advantages an ID card can give us.

A week or two ago a Conservative politician wrote a column in our local paper arguing that the main knockers of ID cards were probably terrorists, or terrorist sympathisers! He went on about how 'these people' want to bring down democracy and the western way of life and how their belief that ID cards could be forged was flying in the face of reality. Money, he argued, can be forged but we don't all cry that it should be dispensed with.

What is this guy on? Despite being a Tory, that is!

Of course money can be forged - most documents can. Some of the documents the real terrorists used to board planes in America and commit a holocaust were fake. Can anyone seriously tell me that if they'd had an ID Card, they'd all have been caught and the attacks thwarted!!

Rhetorical question, Mr. Conservative.

The Tory's rantings about money/fakes/ID Cards conveniently never mentioned how the cards are supposed to work. I suppose he has no idea either, but just had to fill in so many column inches that week and decided to attempt to ride the tails of the American catastrophes to win the backing of other rabid right-wing morons (yes, I know that's tautological) by spouting what he reasoned was political capital in the aftermath of recent events.

I remain totally convinced that ID Cards are nothing other than a waste of taxpayer's money, and an immoral way of gathering information on innocent citizens - the very people who these cards are meant to protect.

Can you imagine the average mugger/car thief/murderer cursing themselves as they are about to go about their crimes for forgetting their ID Cards?

And going back to their abodes for them in case they get into trouble and risk a fine?

I rest my case.

Don't have nightmares. We'll soon be protected by something more powerful than a nuclear deterrent - and possibly something more sinister.


PALMER ON PROZAC is a freelance writer from Stockport, England. He is also the main author of this Web Site. You can see more of his observations and Rants on THE SITE FOR SORE EYES soon. His views and comments do not necessarily reflect the opinions and views of the owners of this Site. When not spreading scorn on brave, innovative ideas from radical thinkers who are light years ahead of their time, he tends to have his feet planted firmly on the ground and a head planted firmly on his shoulders - not up his arse!!

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