By a cruel twist of fate (or lemon!), this boy was born with the taste bud gene permanently switched on to BITTER.
Our Agents have good news, though. Apparently a medic called Jean Therapy may be able to cure the boy of his torment.
We can only hope this is true. This fine looking young chap shouldn't have to carry such a burden.
 

One can only also hope that Jean doesn't discover, for instance, that the boy is an alien/human hybrid genetically engineered to be able to breathe different air than earth's.
That shocking discovery would force the government out into the open and impel them to reveal just how much they know about secret experiments on our population.

The real question, as always, though, is: how much does the government know?

On to:

THE LIGHT-HEADED PLONKER OF PORTWOOD THE FANTASTIC FLOATING KID OF ROMILEY THE SENSATIONAL HALF-BOY OF HEATON NORRIS
THE LARGER THAN LIFE SPROG OF LYME HALL THE AMAZING X-RAY EYES MAN OF EDGELEY THE WITH-CHILD CHILD OF CHEADLE

X-PLANATIONS

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