WALL OF FAME
---- Original Message -----
From: 99138 <99138@Intranet.fastweb.co.uk>
Sent: Monday, June 30, 2004 9:46 AM
i just want to say that you are so steriotypical i cant believe you think all women do is whinge. thats so out of order thats like me saying that guys dont want a healthy strong relationship they just want to bed them then leave them. in which for a fact i know thats not true as i am in a steady relationship and have not had sex with him yet so next time you feel like replying to someone whos taken the time to email you with her problems for a real answer tell her nicely and like a proffesional not like a 10 year old boy. and whats that about if you want a real man thats perthetic your not a real man and you proberbly never will be your so vein.
bliss magazine corporation
p.s you should be ashamed of yourself and i should shut your site down because i have the power to
And the reply from Sertraline (tee hee)...
Dear 99 138, or can I call you 99 if that isn't presumptious.
I'm sorry that I've taken so long to get back to you but I've just come back from my holidays and I'm in a much better frame of mind than I was when I received it as you will see from the mellow tone of my response.
Firstly Steve doesn't exist, he is an artifice designed to represent the whole laddish culture distilled into a single person. You will notice that the pictures of both him and Hildegard are based on pictures of Hitler and Thatcher respectively. Do you see the sub-text here - two fascist dictators remote from reality handing out advice to the masses. It's interesting to note that despite Hildegard being the female equivalent of Steve, her answers being every bit as extreme as his but in mirror image, you haven't treated her to an equivalent diatribe. Clearly you are one of those rabid feminists for whom sexism is very much a one-way street. But then I'm bound to say that, I'm a man.
Secondly the concept of satire is clearly an alien one for you as you appear oblivious to the fact that one of the targets of the humour in our problem pages is the sexist attitude of men like Steve. You call him stereotypical as an insult but that's the whole point, he is a stereotype. Evidently this was far too subtle for you. True there are other targets, such as the blinkered, man-hating feminism of women like Hildegard, and the blind faith of people who write to complete strangers to ask for advice when those very strangers have no formal qualifications that give any credence to the pearls of wisdom that they dispense so readily. You really should try harder to delve beneath the surface of what you're reading or viewing. Stop watching soap operas and try a little Shakespeare, a Virginia Woolf novel or a couple of art-house movies.
Thirdly there is a factual inaccuracy in your e-mail inasmuch as the writers of the letters did not send them to us they submitted them to a range of women's magazines from where we extracted them. There are a couple of exceptions where fans of the site have actually sent us spoof problems. These people, of course, do understand the concept of satire and are responding in kind
Fourthly, given that you were quite unjustifiably harsh with me in your e-mail I believe that it's now my turn. Your spelling punctuation and grammar are abysmal, I have taught eleven year old children who have a more robust grasp of the English language. Your mail has no structure and reads like the breathless rant of a spoilt child that has been told that it can't have another sweetie. The fact that you are even considering having sex with anyone is mind boggling given that you have the mentality of a ten year old - a little like the ten year old that you accuse Steve of being. And finally, if you work for the Bliss Magazine Corporation I will bare my arse in Burton's window ( A great Northern working-class lad's expression intended to denote arrant disbelief).
Fifthly, "I have the power"???? What are you a feminist version of He-man swooping to rain vengeance on the sexist males of the universe? Have you any conception of how fascist that sounds? "I don't like/understand/agree with what you are saying so I will use my authority to stop you from saying it".*
Not for one moment do I believe that you have any such power any more than I believe that you work for Bliss magazine if the standard of your writing is anything to go by.
Finally the home page of our site gives a clear warning that if you are easily offended, as you clearly are, you should not enter the site. So why did you? I suppose you are like those sad acolytes of Mary Whitehouse in the 70's and 80's who would lovingly sit through Dennis Potter plays so that they could then write fulminating letters of complaint to the BBC. If you don't like the contents of our site then don't go there. I promise you that you won't be missed.
Incidentally the day after I received your e-mail I received another e-mail containing a virus. The properties showed that this had come from the same source as your mail. This leads me to one of two conclusions: one is that you sent the virus and are exactly the kind of book-burning Nazi that you appear to be or that someone has sent you a virus, your hard drive is infected and the virus e-mail piggy backed on your e-mail to me. Reserve your hatred for the psychotics who play those sort of tricks and leave us hard working satirists to get on with our job.
Love and snogs,
* "I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Voltaire