THE SITE FOR SORE EYES PREMIER RESTAURANT

"ROUTES TO THE GUT!!"

The "Inn Plaice" To Be!!!!!



HOW TO FIND US:
Ask at your local Accident & Emergency for recent cases of Botulism, E-coli, or Staphycoculus. Then follow the trail of vomit.

Welcome; Ben Trovato; Guten Fledermaus; See You, Jimmy; Bon jeu de mots

Discerning plates welcome.

Your host - Mick Sturbs.

[FORM LETTER. FILL IN FORMS AND DELETE THIS BEFORE SENDING]

Dear Gourmet,

You are invited to the Grand Opening of our fully refurbished, palatial eaterie.
Come and see our food prepared on the premises (We'd prefer a kitchen
but, the council didn't give us planning permission.).
Yes, Mr.[INSERT NAME HERE] , imagine the surprise when your official
invite drops through the letterbox at 1 Flushing Meadows, Stuttering-in-Tights, Nr. STOCKPORT. Yes, you will be the envy of your neighbours at Flushing Meadows when you tell them where you are going!!!!
Yes! You are only one of thousands in STOCKPORT to be chosen by our computer to join us on New Year's Eve with the partner of your choice (or our choice if you are that way inclined).
Yes! Enclosed you will find a menu which has been selected exclusively for you.
Yes! The delicious, mouth-watering contents have been chosen by our world-renowned French chef, l imntryCnl.
Yes! Browse through at your leisure (or even at home), circle the dishes you
desire, send the menu back to us in the pre-paid envelope then sit back and
relax.
Yes! That's all there is to it. Your meal will be prepared for you on the night, at your table. Then, if you wish, you can bring it with you to the eaterie in one
of our FREE polystyrene 'Doggy-Bag-uettes'.
Send back the menu and tell everyone at [INSERT FAVOURITE PUB HERE] in Stuttering-in-Tights, Nr. Stockport, Cheshire. where you are celebrating the arrival of 2001.

We look forward to seeing you.




MENU


New Year's Eve, 2001.


Starters:

Soup Of The Year.
(A delicately peeled selection of vegetables, washed in the newest biological powder, dried in the wild expanses of darkest Borneo, and served in a precocious Hydrolysed Vegetable Protein with garlic margarine.)


Main Course:

Warmedup Surprees!
(A subtle blend of Erythrosine Hydrogen Carbonate in which the discerning gastronome will detect a trace of essence of pured E127. Pure Coriander twists are used throughout and the whole ensemble is served on a bed.)

Bef Hogatrough.
(Fenugreek is the buzzword in this, the culinary epitome of gastronomic gourmandry. Hot, buttered gremials of pochard simmered in distilled mucago make this one of our most popular, though less-pronounced, dishes. The turmeric aftertaste, coupled with a definite tang of monosodium glutamate make this dish a must for the more astute of our astomatal clientele.)


DESERT:

Mnchstr T'rt.
(This goes without saying.)

 

Dear Visitors, Clients and Patients,
Thank you for your cushion. Tell your fiends about us. (Please to being remembered if there is anything with the menu which is very not friendly - tell the host who will have it off.)

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