THE SITE FOR SORE EYES
CHRISTMAS TELE-VISUAL TREATS
SELECTED BY PALMER ON PROZAC - THE BEST YULE GET!
DISCLAIMER: The SITE FOR SORE EYES can not be held responsible for any valuables lost while visiting. Please take every precaution.
Winkies Christmas Frolics.
The cheeky little chappy shows children how to make a periscope to see what goes on in mummy and daddy's bedroom during their 'playtime'.
Alternative Christmas Carols.
Old favourites are given a makeover for younger viewers. Includes: Here We Go A-WASSUUUUPING!!!!; Good King Selling Grass; The Holly & The IV Drug User; While Shepherds Thrutched; Ding Dong Merrily, I'm High; Away In A Coma, and many more of your all-time favourites.
Short film about people who are full of crap.
Wake up to that loveable rogue from Oasis as he teaches children how to say 'Call that a present you tight fuckwit!' in languages from all the countries he's toured.
Three Tenors Sing: Smelly Cat.
Phoebes and Friends Rock On to the resounding renditions of the rotund Rigoletto recitalists.
|8.15: This Is
Head injury victims are introduced to their spouses for the first time since major trauma claimed large parts of their frontal cerebral cortexes.
Peep under the snow-white beard of the festive fella in this fly-on-the-wall documentary about his home life. See his battle with the bottle as all that sherry threatened to turn Santa into a reindeer-beater.
Short Czechoslovakian Post-Modernist Performance Artiste film about people throwing Personal Organisers off cliffs.
Cheers all round as our favourite green-fingered bods are rounded up and severely Nuked.
Ground Force Zero
Following drunken festivities, our hero wakes up next to Nina Myskow.
James Bombed Film Double Bill.
This year the premier of the festive, A QUEUE TO A TILL, followed by, YOUR MINCED PIES ONLY.
Cockney wide-boy, VAT-evading, gobshites talk bollocks (without subtitles).
Mutant Ninja Turtle Soup.
Delia Spliff surprises us once again with yet another collection of cramming things that don't twitch into her mouth.
Ex-police officers from the Met' in a game of memory as they meet up with people they've stitched throughout the years and attempt to remember what crimes 'fitted' the faces.
Gotta Have It.
Cameras follow three Essex-girl slappers as they hunt for anything in trousers that isn't cyanose.
Shipmans Phone-in Surgery.
Any Festive worries about health could be banished by calling in and hearing what the doc has to say about your aches and pains.
Documentary about Jim Davidson's family tree.
After being called a narrow-gutted, pencil-necked, anorexic, delusional slapper, Ally finally snaps. (Last in series).
Two hours of unedited footage showing the dedication, humour and sadistic tendencies of staff on a turkey farm as they work double shifts to off enough fodder for our Christmas plates.
Barrymore's World Of Felching, Fondling and Fisting.
A festive, whirlwind, alliterative tour of cottages Michael has known.
They Were Insignificant.
Anthropological interests abound as we see people clamouring and killing to be seen in front of the lens, then, months or years later, threatening to sue if cameras don't stop following them. Behaviour that only subsides in times of new singles/films/book releases.
Live surgery from various vasectomy clinics around the country. Tune in to see if you recognise any familiar faces.
Liam Gallagher takes us on a whistlestop tour of designer drugs.
Various illiterate and workshy Cockneys and Scousers (sorry about the multiple tautology, there) show ways of leeching off society and boasting about it, after learning to talk.
Low budget series about the daily life of a small shopping mart till girl Amazon.
Everyone's favourite comedian is stitched into a heavily weighted canvas sack and thrown from Tower Bridge
Meetings With Remarkable Trees.
After a Corporate Logo Strategy gathering, the trees branch out into the city. Leafing through the FTSE Index they decide to get floated before twigging they might bough out early. After an unsavoury incident in a pub, someone calls the copse.
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