THE SITE FOR SORE EYES

CHRISTMAS TELE-VISUAL TREATS 2001 / 2

SELECTED BY PALMER ON PROZAC - THE BEST YULE GET!

DISCLAIMER: Please wait for The SITE FOR SORE EYES to stop before disembarking. The management can not be held responsible for users not being mindful of advice given so freely. Honestly, we slave over a hot PC and there you go, without a care in the world, willy nilly........ Ooooh, I could spit.

9.00: Walking With Breasts.
Documentary about multi-talented supermodel, Jordan. She is one of only a handful (ooer, missus) of models who have huge boobs AND can walk - BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!!
10.00: Home and Away.
Fascinating documentary about the two types of football match!
11.00: Captain Clary and The Fisterons.
Puppet series for muppets.
1.00: Osama's Christmas Countdown.
Wake up to that loveable rogue from the Tora Bora Complex as he presents an enlightening look at life underground. Learn how to cook in a cramped kitchen, get money back for your old light bulbs, how to braise sand and much more. Also, fifty things you never knew about cockroaches. Fifty one if you enrol in al-Qaeda.
2.00: Duffy the Reindeer Slayer.
Goth-horror with elements of lesbian/sado-masochistic tendencies. Leather- and latex-lovers can indulge while purporting to enthuse over the popular culture and socio-psychological myth-rendering at their campuses next morning!
3.30: The Farmer Wants A Dogsbody Who'll Have His Snap On't' 'Table Or Else Feel T'back Of His 'And, Tha' Knows.
Cute docu-soap about rural business persons who have chosen to use hi-tech solutions to their being single. Jealous sheep abound. (May not be suitable for members of the Taliban.)
5.00: Home Front.
Cockney rhyming slang starring Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. After making it big in many TV DIY shows, Laurence is going in for panto. It's rumoured he has had a little part in Cinderella.
6.30 Back To The Floor.
Highly talented, singing, dancing, supermodel, Jordan discovers a new way of having sex.
8.30: Dolby City.
Nice sounding hospital drama.

 

PROGRAMMES MAY BE SUBJECT TO CHANGE

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